i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
