Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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