I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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