well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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