talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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