god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize
