Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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