she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
