I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Randomize
