i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize