I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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