think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
