So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
