he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
