well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
