He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
