I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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