He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
