They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
