Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i need some magic done to my vagina
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
