She's like a pop up book from hell.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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