I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize