hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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