Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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