Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Found your dick twin last night
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
