Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
