So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
