Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
birth control should be required to get into college
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
not ubering you a puppy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
