That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
