Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
