dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
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I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
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And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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