if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
