another moral hangover. fuck.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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