I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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