a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
