I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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