This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
