flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
