We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
