did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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