you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize