why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
