i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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