Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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