Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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