i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
