Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
