I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
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i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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