Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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