i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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