Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
