Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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