I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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