i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
