She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
