apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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