69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
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I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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