Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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