The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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