Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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